What’s pulling our strings?

Have you ever felt compelled to do or say something that doesn’t feel quite right or induces a feeling of conflict within you? Do you sometimes feel driven by something you can’t identify that leads to you saying or doing something that you regret & this is becoming or is a pattern?

Maybe you are starting to notice that you are feeling triggered into anger or frustration by something someone does or says & it’s the same person or the same subject that seems to bring that anger out in you?

Chances are that both the above are down to a clash of personal values. Although we can often share wider, cultural or national values like ‘we don’t kill or rape or steal or deliberately harm others’, we also carry a long list of personal values that we have absorbed during our lives. These will vary from firstly family to family & then person to person.

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Why laughter is as important as breathing.

“To laugh you have to be able to exhale & take another breath in quick succession. We know from various (breathing) therapies, that to take a breath causes one to free one’s emotions, that when we wish NOT to feel, we hold our breath instead”.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes from ‘Women who run with the Wolves’ – a fabulous book, by the way, & one that I think will inform all women, stimulate deep understanding & personal growth.

I work with many women who have been holding their breath for a long time, which can create exhaustion & respiratory illnesses or a sense of tightness or pressure around the chest/lungs/heart area as well as constriction in the throat & many other physical symptoms. Letting go can be scary on your own. Sometimes we have been doing it for so long that we aren’t even aware of it, nor do we remember a time when we felt any differently than right now. We accept many, many emotions, feelings & physical discomforts  as just the way things are, part of us, something we cannot change. The results are often chronic illnesses, lots of acute illnesses, a lack of energy or an absence of Joy or any sense of deep happiness or ease.

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Why Story telling isn’t just for Children.

A big part of what I do for a living is listening to your Stories. I listen to The Story – the pattern or Timeline of your life & all the major events & circumstances that you have negotiated, survived, or created & that have contributed to who you are today.  I also listen to the many smaller stories that sit in the gaps in between these seminal events & I listen to how you have responded or reacted to them, what patterns of behavior or emotions you may be repeating.

Our ability to tell our Story is a vital part of who we are – our self-expression, our Truth. We have an amazing ability to create, to use our imaginations & construct incredible characters, mythical creatures & whole fantasy worlds. Story telling is a massive part of being Human & of our own unique family cultures as well as our wider geographical cultures. Here in Ireland, Stories are integrally bound in the makeup of the population & an important part of communication – the Irish are fabulous story tellers & musicians.

Stories can be used to deliver uncomfortable or challenging news or lessons & of course Fairy Tales were all about teaching children a moral code or giving them boundaries eg ‘don’t go into the woods after dark, its not safe’, ‘beware of Wolves in sheep’s clothing’ etc etc. I don’t think any of us would claim that any of these ancient Stories are literally true but they enable us to remember better & are embedded in our sub-conscious ready to come out whenever a suitable trigger comes along.

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Our 7th Behavioural Code® – Connection, Belonging, No Seperation.

If you haven’t already read about the other 6 codes, you may want to start at the beginning of this Blog series on ‘Our 7 Behavioural Codes®’.

Our 7th Code® both provides us with & is fed on a deep sense of connection, not only to a wider ‘tribe’ or group of like minded souls but to something more universal, a sense of belonging to the world and everything in it. The sense of all of us being connected and able to nourish, support and heal each other on an energetic level. This can only come when we feel this within ourselves and about ourselves – when we feel both nothing and everything at the same time.

I think of this code as being made up of rings of connection all sitting on top of each other – on the inside the personal connections we can have with our partners or friends or family, then the connections we make at school, college, in our jobs or our hobbies. The rings get wider & spread further & eventually some of us get to feel deep connections with people we may just ‘click with’ , who ‘get us’ & become our ‘Tribe’. We form communities that can cross countries, languages & continents, we understand that there isn’t really anything that separates us, we are all the same,  feeling the same feelings, dreaming the same dreams, all doing our best with what we have.

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