Our 5th behavioural code® – Our authentic, truthful speaking voice.
This is the 5th in my Blog series exploring the 7 Behavioural Codes® that we are ‘hard-wired’ to fulfill in order to feel whole & healthy. When we are not fulfilling these codes, this lack can govern & drive all our behaviour – & create patterns that run automatically for us. Patterns that get set up in order for us to experience some measure of gratification of whatever is lacking, unfortunately because these behaviors are not conscious, they are seldom sustainable & usually counterproductive. Making the un-conscious, conscious is the first step to changing these patterns.
Our 5th code is located in our throats & neck and govern our sense of self-expression, our ability to use our authentic voices to speak out, say what we feel & what we know to be true for us individually & for us as a whole & (I believe), ultimately for the whole sentient world. I have worked with many Clients over the years who have come seeking relief from physical symptoms in their throats, or neck area – Thyroid disorders, chronic sore throats, Tonsillitis, Laryngitis or problems swallowing food etc. Too often to be ignored, it turns out that these Clients shared a common thread of some kind of suppression of themselves & their ability to express that.
We express who we are through a variety of ways – language, words, hand gestures, facial movements, body language, touch or not touching, our choice of clothing, make-up, body art, hairstyle, jewellry etc. These choices that can cause so much angst in parents are some of the first indications that we are becoming our own people, forming our own self-awareness & identity distinct from our parents or primary care givers. Ironically this is often the time when these outward forms of self-expression are exactly the time when we most yearn to ‘fit in’, to belong to a tribe, a tribe that ‘gets us’ & we can ‘be ourselves with’. How much this is a problem or not depends on this 5th code fully functioning & also our 1st (safety), 2nd (Creativity/risk) & 3rd (Self esteem/identity) codes also being in balance. I hope that you can see from reading about the previous codes how, for example if we don’t feel that it’s safe (1st code) to speak out, then we won’t, in a bid to feel safe, however that protection device disables this 5th code. Perhaps we have experienced very strict parenting that didn’t give space to creative self-expression or taking any kind of risk (2nd code) or maybe we live in a wider environment that employs censorship of any opinions that don’t conform? If you are a painter, singer or naturally extrovert & these behaviours were discouraged or belittled when you were young, you can see that the potential is there for damage to at least 2 codes? The second code which needs us to take risks & be creative as well as the 5th code which is the ability to be & express who we really are.
This is how all our codes feed into each other & you can seldom address one in isolation – any true curative Healthcare has to be holistic in its approach, we cannot take a microscope to one area & ignore the rest.
We also express ourselves & who we are through our choices of hobbies, jobs, books, sports, interests, the homes we choose & how we decorate them or even which blanket we put on our bed.
How this code can become out of balance is if you have been repeatedly told to ‘be quiet’, ‘shut up’ & for this reason you have adopted a belief that you have nothing of importance to say or even that it’s been so long since you spoke out, you can’t even remember what your truth actually is. Also if you were perhaps ridiculed for saying what you thought or you attached a sense of shame to speaking out or dressing the way that you want to. Your sub-conscious mind doesn’t want you to continue to feel those uncomfortable feelings, so a behavioural pattern gets set up around reminding you of this potential every time you try to speak out in the future.
Some people cleverly construct what seems like a whole new personality to show to the outside world, just to avoid anyone seeing ‘what I’m really like’. This constant pretence, whilst it is largely sub-conscious, takes a lot of energy to maintain. If the person reaches a place in their lives when they no longer really need to sustain this ‘pretend self’, there can be a sense of inner conflict or that there are 2 sides to them. In my practice I do regular work with Clients sensing this inner ‘split’ using both Homeopathy and QTT® methods. Guiding Clients who have been in conflict with themselves for years, to understand that these 2 (or more), parts ultimately want the same thing, and that they can actually work together, rather than against each other is a joy to take part in & watch as liberation takes place.
Finding our ability to fulfill this code can often start with small daily acts of self expression – sometimes even just journalling what we really want to be able to say or do, starts the ball rolling. Understanding why we chose to shut down our abiity to express fully, how it offered some measure of protection & why it may not be serving us now can need support & the ability to access resources we didn’t know we had access to. That’s where I come in.