Being a teenager has never been easy, and these days our teens are presented with more challenges than ever before. Most of these challenges are relevent to both girls and boys but both sexes have their own set of gender specific issues as well. It is a time of huge internal and external change and transition as our children start to emerge from and seperate from us, their parents or care givers.
I don’t know about you but I seem to get alot of posts in my various social media feeds from Life Coaches and Inspirational Teachers and other online contacts, all supporting and advocating the idea of constantly striving to stretch ourselves and ‘go beyond our comfort zones’. On first reading, this can make lots of sense and indeed can be very relevant in certain situations and for certain people at certain times in their lives. But as a general principle, I really question this idea of never resting, never being still, always striving for ‘something better – more happiness, more success, more money, more challenges etc’.
We live in a society with record numbers of people with various Adrenal problems, Stress has become an everyday occurance and we are surrounded by messages that all tell us ‘don’t stop, even when you are ill – just pop a pill and get right back to work’. Alot of people are now recognising that the ‘pop a pill’ thing isn’t healthy or sustainable, but aren’t all the self-help videos and messages telling us ‘don’t give in to feeling bad/ill/sad…just put on that smile and get dressed up and carry on’, just as potentially damaging? They are both encouraging us to ignore what we feel, put it away somewhere and keep on striving for that elusive ‘something’.
Some time ago I attended a fascinating online seminar about the ancient art of Face reading – ‘Al Ferasa’. This amazing ancient skill originated in the Middle East with The Bedouin people as a vital part of their ability to identify whether the many different tribes they came across, as they travelled across a huge area, were friends or foe.
‘Al Ferasa’ means to look deeply at something and understand what lies behind it – a way of looking and seeing that deeply resonates with the way I practice Homeopathy & QTT Personal Development work.
The Bedouin understood that the most important parts of life are the interactions or connections we experience with others & this is not always through the spoken word. Having the ability to instantly navigate and shortcut our understanding of another’s personal and communal story and therefore being able to tailor our own behaviour’s and communication methods accordingly, can drastically affect how successfully we experience those interactions with others. Indeed our inate ability to instantly ‘read’ and feel others overriding or underpinning emotions or intentions, are hard-wired into us and inform us at a ‘gut’ level – do we want to continue a relationship or run away from it?! First impressions are intuitive but like all intuition, they are based on the energetic exchanges we experience at a conscious and sub-conscious level.
I recently had the pleasure of attending an excellent talk by Author, Colm Tobin. Amongst a number of other inciteful issues, he spoke about a time in his life when he recieved help from the Psychiatrist Ivor Browne, to face and process the loss of his father. Ivor Browne likened this work to removing a stone from a previously flowing stream – a stone that had stopped the stream in it’s tracks and forced the water to either alter it’s course or sometimes stop all together.
The traumatic events that we do not process healthily, that we do not truelly experience and feel, become like these rocks and although we think ‘oh that was years ago, I have dealt with all that’, if we haven’t really felt the feelings and learnt to get through them and continue on our way, they have a habit of remaining until we do so, and they can take alot of our energy to keep them in their place. Also our ‘flow’ is slowed, diverted and diluted. In order to learn from all our life experiences we need to actually experience them in the first place, sometimes this is just too painful to contemplate, so we tidy the event away into a drawer and we develop all sorts of clever strategies for not getting it out and really looking at it.
Not so very long ago, I would probably have been burnt at the stake, (and there are those who would still like to do that to Healers like me ……… or maybe it’s just me??!!haha). These days we are just given a verbal ‘roasting’ from time to time by Skeptics, Fear Mongers and Bigots who base their criticism largely in ignorance, Blind Faith (in Pharmaceutical Medicine) and pure Malice. But are we – Modern day Healers – in fact, treated any differently from the Wise Women (and Men), Shamens, Herbalists and Healers of days of yore who stood in the way of larger enterprises touting ‘Modern’, ‘Scientifically proven’ methods of Healthcare, often from highly toxic materials but with expensive and well marketed campaigns behind them? Why has the very term ‘Healer’ become synonymous with ‘Charleton’ or ‘Quackery’ instead of its true literal meaning – why is it that ‘Healing’ or being ‘Cured’ is seldom used in association with Pharmaceutical Medicine? Have we just accepted that if we are ill we do not ever get cured or healed, simply managed for the rest of our days with drugs??
A very Happy and Healthy 2018 to you all! I had a wonderful break with my family and particularly enjoyed a special week with my gorgeous sister who was visiting from London. Although the weather was cold and windy we loved exploring some of the stunning landscape that Kerry has to offer and we walked, breathed in the glorious fresh air and talked and talked and talked! It was a tonic and cost nothing and we made a committment to do it more often.
This put me in mind of all the New Year’s resolutions that traditionally get made during January and that I used to make too. I don’t do so anymore because I have made an on-going committment to lead my life in the way that works for me, which is therefore sustainable and helps to support real changes and healthy choices. It has taken me years to get here but I can honestly say that I am happier and healthier than I was in my 20’s and 30’s, as well as being a great deal wiser!
I get concerned about all the resolutions and promises that many people make to stop or ‘give up’ perceived ‘bad habits’, since they are never sustainable unless we understand and address the real issues behind why we adopted these habits in the first place. Without this it is all too easy to get stuck in a pattern of being unable to sustain a resolution and then feeling bad about ourselves because we didn’t stick to it – not a healthy way to start the year! How can we successfully sustain a healthy diet if we don’t know, for example, why we crave sugar or have any other food compulsions? How can we just decide to stop smoking or drinking alchohol until we look at what such habits and addictions actually mean to us and why we may have turned to them in the first place?
‘Failure’ is a loaded word and can trigger a cascade of negative emotions and old hurts. But we can only ‘fail’ when we try something and the only way to avoid possible ‘failure’ is to never try! I started thinking about this subject recently when a Client who had visited me for one consultation, decided not